I don't know why I started thinking about this from "Real Time" in January, but I found a transcript from the episode. I found the letter from summer camp hilarious.
MAHER: Right. But what I found out was, I think, it’s sort of like the way your spam file works, in your computer. You know, what goes – sometimes I have this strange thing, maybe you do, too – but I’ll get most emails from some people, but then sometimes they’ll go into spam file. And it’s because, like, a certain word triggered the spam thing, you know? Like, if somebody sends me a letter and says, “You should refinance… enlarging your penis.” [laughter] That will go into the spam file, because it triggered those words.
And I think that’s what happens. At the phone companies, I don’t think everything goes in, but – so we came up with a little email that would indicate something that would probably set off the red flags. Okay, this is, “Dear Suzy,” in summer camp. [letter on screen] “Summer camp sucks. I’m stuck in a cabin with 72 virgins. [laughter] It’s like a Ground Zero for boredom here.
Thank God for my iPod, I have all my “fav” bands in there: Anthrax, Biohazard, Poison, Slayer, Megadeth, Suicidal Tendencies. And some girl stole my bottle of Explosive brand hair gel. And when I find out who – what was missing, I blew up. [laughter] Someone said I look like ‘Ugly Betty,’ which sucks because I hate America…Ferrera. [laughter]
Well, I need some toiletries, so I’m gonna hit Target before I crash. [laughter] See you in the next life.” [laughs] See, that would… [scoffs] [applause] Okay. That’s the kind of thing I’m… [laughs] I don’t think it’s everybody’s phone call. But I think certain words key them to look out for you. And I don’t know if that’s a bad thing.
I have been a fan of Al Gore since I was a kid growing up in Memphis. He was the Senator from Tennessee & then became VP when I was 12. I got to shake his hand in his first year in office. When I became a teenager I realized the importance of environmental conservation. As a teenager I was always involved in environmentalist causes.
The spirit has waned a bit becoming an adult, although I consider myself much more environmentally conscious than most. In fact, the highest priority of my vegetarianism has been the environmental benefits of it. Moving to Chicago was even a calculated move to help the environment because I wanted to be in a livable, walkable city where public transit was available & usable. I realize that my dependance on my car is not the most eco-friendly, but I am trying to focus more on taking public transit or biking to where I need to go.
When I see a video like the one below, I realize that I must focus even more on stemming global climate change. An important moment now is to put the pressure on politicians that we want climate change to be a high priority for them. Gore said it best in "An Inconvenient Truth" when he said that global climate change is a moral issue, & now even focuses his message even more poignant by challenging us to make us a hero generation by solving this problem now.
So please take about 25 minutes & watch this video. You will be happy that you did.
In case any of you wanted to know what a fake travelers checque looks like compared to a real one. I had a fake on that someone tried to pass off on months ago(I kept it). I happened to get a real AmEx one today, so I thought it would be nice to compare the two... ( Read more & see fakeness on displayCollapse )
If you have an hour, listen to This podcast. I know I have hounded everyone to listen to "Feast of Fools" before, but this is a really great interview. Perhaps after listening to this, you will decide to subscribe the their podcast...
Here is FoF's description of the show:
Shirley Phelps’ God is angry at you. Why? Because you are gay or you accept gay people.
Shirley Phelps is the spokesperson, matriarch and part-time lawyer for the controversial Westboro Baptist Church out of Topeka, Kansas.
Gay folks have known about them for years since they first protested at the funeral of slain gay college student Matthew Shepard. Since then, they have garnered international attention for their protests of military servicemen’s funerals saying it’s “God’s vengeance upon America’s acceptance of homosexuals.” They are known as “America’s Most Hated Family.”
The Phelps family plans to protest at “Brokeback Mountain” actor Heath Ledger’s memorial services. They are even planning a protest outside the red carpet at this years Academy Awards! Gee, I wonder what Shirley will wear? Will her gown match her “God Hates Fags” sign?
[Editor’s note: This interview was conducted before Heath Ledger died.]
Who needs public transit? You can just strike it big & drive a $50,000 vehicle that gets 11 mpg...
This SUV scores a 1 on the EPA air pollution scale (with 10 being the cleanest score, 1 being the dirtiest vehicles).
I googled Common, because I was not sure who he is other than the title "Artist / Activist" given to him in the commercial. I found out that his activism is for animal rights with PETA. I support a few things that PETA supports, but I am a vegetarian for environmental reasons & very much less for animal rights. I disagree with much of PETA's platform. Obviously common is supporting PETA for any environmental causes, especially with this endorsement for such a environmentally senseless vehicle.
I guess I just find it humorous when well-off celebrities endorse products that are all about showing the opulence of wealth. For instance: yes, I am sure Meredith Vieira got paid lots of money to endorse Motrin (or perhaps it was Tylenol), but it is a product that has a purpose that people will buy regardless of endorsements. But Common endorses a reprehensible product that is marketed to people that have money or don't quite have that kind of money but want to project the image of having it.
It seems like car commercials are less about transportation & more about flaunting power, money & influence. This commercial is especially laughable because it is practically mocking Chicago's el, one of the country's best mass transit systems. I get so impassioned in this issue, but I realize that my hands are not clean.. I drive to work over taking mass transit over 95% of the time. I do it because it is faster, easier, & more comfortable. It makes me think that I need to sacrifice more to do my part... I'll work on doing more for the environment this year if you will too...
So it finally happened to me, a lifelong atheist. Yes I found him, I found Jesus.
We have had quite the adventure since finding him on Christmas... we have shared laughs, great moments & most importantly, his redeeming love.
He actually took time from his day job of blessing children to come spend the holidays with me.
He said he was staying a few days & brought a small overnight bag with him. I could tell that Jesus thought America was the greatest country in the world...
It turns out he was hungry from his trip, so we ate a bit...
Some of Jesus's favorite foods as it turns out are veal cutlets, foie gras & chicken nuggets from Chic-fil-A. I had to protest on grounds of being a vegeterian, but Jesus's quick reply was "Animals don't have souls!"
After a nice dinner. Jesus trys to show the love & hope that is in the bible... OK, so there is is some interesting parables that are great teachings in the bible. I say to Jesus, "But the bible is filled with archaic & hard to imagine laws... What about Exodus 21:7-11 where you can sell your daughter into slavery... or god commanding Abraham to murder his son Isaac to test his loyalty?" I tell him of Julia Sweeny & perhaps he will listen to her with me one day...
I convince Jesus that he should read one of my books... Perhaps Sam Harris or Richard Dawkins will be on his reading list next...
We could agree on one thing though... all other religions (except christianity of course) were silly & we could have a great time making fun of them... Buddhism, Ha!
Jesus was through talking about theology, he did it all the time & could easily get bored with it. He asked if I had a paper. I did. Jesus loves keeping up with his investments...
His two main investments were stocks in Chic-fil-A & Lifeway Christian Bookstores. He said that he had contemplated in getting into the housing market a fews ago, but decided against it since he knew the rapture would be hell on the housing market. "Well not quite the rapture, but the housing market is hell right now" I replied.
Strangely enough, the topic went to sex. I think it led there when I made a joke about him being hung (on the cross that is!). So we started looking at porn together.
Jesus was intrigued with the magazine for the simple fact that he had never seen foreskin on any man over the age of 2 months...
To show that he was only intrigues & not turned on by uncircumcised penises, Jesus went to great lengths to show that he is not gay:
Well we had quite the day, so I suggested to Jesus that we go to bed. He agreed, but we had to have to pray before going to bed...
And off to bed we went...
T H E E N D
Thank you to Michael Maloney for getting me this very strangely ironic pink fuzzy Jesus (Michael also gave me "Then End of Faith" by Sam Harris). I knew I had to do something with the figure when I saw it, but didn't have clue what. I just started taking strange pictures with Jesus over the last week & then the idea of putting into narrative popped into my head.
So these are not all the Jesus photos either... I could not figure out ow to use all of them into this strange narrative. There are some cool shots on my Flickr page here. Including one called "Bong Hits for Jesus" & this one "With the Fishes"
This story talks about what could be a tremendous breakthrough that could not only change consumer electronic, but could change more important things. Think electric cars with smaller batteries that last 10 times longer...
No, this is not one of my "Onion News Network" videos...
So what is it with this "on fire" thing that these Christians are talking about? It seems to being "on fire" a good thing as well. Are christians reclaiming the words "fire" & "burning" from hell & the devil? If so it is strange that they tell people that they are burning in hell & in turn get excited when they are "on fire."
My favorite part is what the one man said about saving the homosexual. In a few seconds he said some great things that can so easily be taken out of context... "We laid hands on him... and filled with... he got plugged..."
I laugh because the fanaticism is funny & scary at the same time...
I can not believe the comment at the end, "if you get to third place or meet with Amadenajad we'll have you back." In other words, your not a popular candidate & so insignificant that so we won't be giving you any air time.
Well if any of you had seen my cell phones, you realize what a beating they get from me being their master. Well my cell phone display broke & now I have no telephone numbers. I thought this would be an easy remedy: just put my SIM card in another phone, but as David pointed out to me, I apparently saved all my numbers to the PHONE'S memory & not the SIM card!
The moral of the story is back up your numbers, unlike I did. So I have decided to solve my problem of being brutal to cell phones by actually getting a nice phone that I will not want to be brutal to. This will also solve the back up problem as my new cell phone will complete my "digital lifestyle." I know this term is one of those horrible consumer tag-lines, but I think it is appropriate in this case since I will now will keep track of everything through my computer's address book & calendar.
So if you would be so ind to forward me your pertinent information you would wish to share such as name, phone number(s), e-mail address, postal address, screen-name(s) & birth-date.
| Ross |
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